Most people who call themselves founders aren't actually building anything.
They're networking. Posting. Attending events. Scheduling coffee chats. Talking about building.
The actual founders I know? They're hard to reach. They cancel plans. They're tired. They don't have time to be everywhere.
Here's a question I ask myself now: If someone is at every event, on every panel, posting every day—when are they actually working?
Maybe they've built something and now have the time. That's fair.
But often? The loudest ones are the emptiest.
Building is quiet. It happens when no one's watching.
The Founder Performance Theater
Walk into any startup event:
- 200 people with "Founder & CEO" in their LinkedIn bios
- Business cards everywhere
- Elevator pitches flowing like wine
- Everyone "building the next big thing"
- Zero shipping happening
Check Twitter:
- Daily posts about "founder life"
- Quote tweets about entrepreneurship
- Motivational threads about the journey
- Photos from every conference
- Live-tweeting their "insights"
The pattern: Maximum visibility, minimum actual building.
These aren't founders. They're founder-influencers.
Real Founders vs Founder Performers
Real Founders:
- Hard to schedule meetings with
- Rarely post on social media
- Skip networking events
- Cancel dinner plans last minute
- Don't have time for coffee chats
- Look tired at 2 PM
- Talk about specific problems, not vague opportunities
Founder Performers:
- Available for any networking opportunity
- Post daily "insights" about entrepreneurship
- Speak at every conference that will have them
- Always down for coffee and "picking your brain"
- Look polished at all times
- Talk in startup buzzwords and generic motivation
The difference: One group is building. The other is building a personal brand around the idea of building.
My Own Performance Period
2021-2022: Peak Founder Theater
I was everywhere:
- Startup events: 2-3 per month
- Coffee chats: 4-5 per week
- Twitter posting: Daily threads about founder life
- Podcast interviews: Said yes to everything
- LinkedIn articles: Weekly insights about entrepreneurship
- Panel discussions: Any topic related to startups
Hours spent on "founder activities": 25-30 per week
Hours spent actually building: 15-20 per week
SimpleDirect progress during this period: Slow. Really slow.
Revenue growth: Practically flat ($3K → $5K MRR over 12 months)
The delusion: I thought networking and content were "building my business."
The reality: I was building my ego, not my company.
The Quiet Building Phase
Late 2022: Everything changed
What I stopped doing:
- Attending startup events (unless I was speaking)
- Scheduling random coffee chats
- Posting daily on Twitter
- Saying yes to every podcast
- Writing LinkedIn thought leadership
- Networking for the sake of networking
What I started doing:
- Actually coding (with AI assistance)
- Talking to customers daily
- Shipping features weekly
- Measuring what mattered
- Saying no to everything else
Hours spent on "founder activities": 2-3 per week
Hours spent actually building: 35-40 per week
SimpleDirect progress: Massive acceleration
Revenue growth: $5K → $28K MRR in 18 months
The lesson: When I stopped performing founder, I became one.
The Performance Trap
Why smart people fall into founder theater:
1. It Feels Like Work Networking events feel productive. You're "doing something for your business."
But: Feeling busy isn't the same as making progress.
2. Immediate Gratification Post a thread → get likes. Speak at event → get validation. Ship feature → crickets (initially).
But: Building takes months to show results. Performance gives instant feedback.
3. Fear of Missing Out "What if the perfect investor/customer/co-founder is at this event?"
But: Perfect anything rarely happens at events. It happens through consistent execution.
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4. Impostor Syndrome Relief "If I look like a successful founder, maybe I'll feel like one."
But: Success comes from building, not looking successful.
5. Avoiding Hard Work Networking is easier than coding. Posting is easier than selling. Talking is easier than shipping.
But: Easy activities rarely create value.
The Networking Delusion
What most founders think networking does:
- Leads to customers
- Attracts investors
- Finds co-founders
- Creates partnerships
- Builds reputation
What networking actually does (usually):
- Wastes time
- Creates obligations
- Generates busywork
- Produces low-quality connections
- Distracts from building
My networking ROI analysis:
2021-2022: High networking period
- Events attended: ~30
- Coffee chats: ~200
- Hours invested: ~400
- Customers acquired: 2
- Revenue generated: ~$2K
- Cost per customer: $5,000 in time
2023-2024: Low networking period
- Events attended: ~5
- Coffee chats: ~20
- Hours invested: ~50
- Customers acquired: 47
- Revenue generated: ~$300K
- Cost per customer: $200 in time
The math is brutal. Building beats networking 25:1.
When I See Red Flags
Founder profiles that make me skeptical:
The Conference Circuit Regular
- Speaking at 2+ events per month
- Always has a fresh deck about "lessons learned"
- Business card collection like Pokemon cards
- More time on stage than in the office
The Daily Poster
- Threads about founder life every day
- Motivational quotes with sunset photos
- "Day in the life" content constantly
- More followers than revenue
The Coffee Chat Champion
- Available for coffee "anytime"
- "Always happy to help fellow founders"
- Calendar full of "brain-picking" sessions
- Knows everyone, builds nothing
The Panel Discussion Pro
- Expert on every startup topic
- Eloquent answers to generic questions
- Polished slides about market opportunities
- Can't show you their actual product
Red flag question: "What did you ship last week?"
If the answer is a networking event or social media post, they're performing, not building.
The Actual Builders I Know
Daniel Vassallo:
- Rarely attends events
- Tweets maybe 3x per week
- Ships constantly
- $2M+ revenue across multiple products
- Hard to get on a call with
Pieter Levels:
- Skips most conferences
- Posts when he has something real to show
- Built 20+ profitable products
- Often unreachable for weeks
- Focuses on building, not talking about building
Justin Welsh:
- Turned down speaking opportunities to focus on products
- Batches content creation
- $2M+ course business
- Prioritizes shipping over networking
- Says no to most "opportunities"
The pattern: Real builders are hard to reach because they're too busy building.
The Social Media Test
Scroll through someone's Twitter/LinkedIn:
Red flags:
- Daily motivational posts about founder life
- Quote tweets about entrepreneurship with no original insight
- Photos from every startup event they attend
- Vague posts about "building something amazing"
- More talking than showing
Green flags:
- Occasional posts with specific metrics
- Screenshots of actual product features
- Customer testimonials and real feedback
- Technical insights from building
- More showing than talking
The ratio that matters: Show vs Tell
Real builders show their work. Performers tell you about it.
The Availability Paradox
If someone is always available for:
- Coffee chats
- Networking events
- Panel discussions
- Podcast interviews
- Random phone calls
Question: When are they building?
The most successful founders I know are terrible at responding to messages.
Not because they're rude. Because they're deep in the work.
Availability is often inversely correlated with progress.
Building is Quiet
Real building happens:
- At 6 AM before anyone's awake
- At 11 PM when the day is done
- In coffee shops with headphones on
- In home offices with no audience
- On weekends when events aren't happening
Real building looks like:
- Staring at code for 3 hours
- Reading customer feedback obsessively
- Testing the same feature 47 times
- Analyzing metrics that don't look impressive yet
- Solving problems no one will ever see
It's not Instagram-worthy. It's not networking-event discussion material. It's just work.
The work is boring. The results are exciting.
The Question That Changed Everything
"If someone is at every event, on every panel, posting every day—when are they actually working?"
I started asking this about others. Then I asked it about myself.
The uncomfortable answer: I wasn't working enough. I was performing too much.
The painful realization: All that networking and posting was keeping me from the thing that actually mattered—building something people wanted.
The simple fix: Stop performing. Start building.
How to Spot Real Founders
Ask specific questions:
- "What did you ship last week?"
- "What's your biggest technical challenge right now?"
- "Show me your customer feedback from this month"
- "What metrics are you tracking daily?"
- "What broke in your product yesterday?"
Real founders have detailed, specific answers. Performers give vague, motivational responses.
Listen for:
- Specific customer names and problems
- Technical details about their solution
- Actual numbers (revenue, users, conversion rates)
- Recent failures and lessons learned
- Current challenges they're solving
Red flags:
- Generic answers about "disrupting industries"
- Buzzword-heavy descriptions of their vision
- Focus on future potential rather than current reality
- More passion about the speaking circuit than the product
- Unable to demo their actual product
The Uncomfortable Truth
Most startup events are filled with people who want to feel like founders without doing founder work.
Networking has become a substitute for building, not a supplement to it.
Social media turned entrepreneurship into performance art.
The loudest voices are often the emptiest because people with full calendars have empty products.
Building is unglamorous, solitary work. Performing is glamorous, social work.
Most people choose performance because it's easier and more immediately rewarding.
But only one of them creates value.
What I Do Now
My current approach:
Say No To:
- Random coffee chats (95% of requests)
- Speaking at events (unless it's strategic)
- Networking events (unless customers will be there)
- Daily social media posting
- "Pick your brain" sessions
- Generic startup meetups
Say Yes To:
- Customer feedback calls (always)
- Strategic partnership discussions (rarely)
- Speaking at events where my customers are (occasionally)
- Investor meetings (when raising, which is never)
- Collaborations that lead to shipping (seldom)
The result:
- More time for actual building
- Higher quality relationships
- Better products
- Increased revenue
- Less stress
The tradeoff: I'm less visible in the startup scene. But my business is more visible in the market.
For Current Performer-Founders
If this describes you, here's how to transition:
Week 1: Audit Your Time
- Track every hour for one week
- Categorize as: Building, Performing, or Other
- Calculate your Building/Performing ratio
Week 2: Cut the Performance
- Cancel non-essential networking events
- Stop daily social media posting
- Decline most coffee chats
- Say no to speaking opportunities
Week 3: Redirect to Building
- Use freed time for product development
- Schedule daily customer interactions
- Focus on shipping, not talking about shipping
- Measure progress in features shipped, not events attended
Week 4: Measure the Difference
- Compare progress to previous month
- Note energy levels and focus quality
- Track actual business metrics
- Decide which activities to keep/cut
The goal: Become hard to reach because you're too busy building something valuable.
Long Game
Performing founders get:
- Short-term validation
- Social media followers
- Speaking opportunities
- Networking connections
- Founder scene recognition
Building founders get:
- Long-term value creation
- Actual customers
- Real revenue
- Sustainable businesses
- Market recognition
The choice: Do you want to be known for being a founder, or for what you founded?
Why This Matters
Because the startup scene incentivizes performance over building.
Because young founders see the loudest people and think that's how you succeed.
Because networking events and social media create the illusion of progress.
Because building is hard, lonely work that doesn't get likes or applause.